All Is Fare

It cost me fifty dollars 
to exist in this city
I could no longer 
watch my thoughts 
become the outline 
of fear on your face

My teeth began to chatter 
as I put my car in park 
Spring was making 
promises it couldn’t keep

I worried that without you
I would lose the intensity 
in my life, no more yellow lights
The enabler of never being 
content

I no longer believed that 
it was both a gift, rather than
a suffering 
What was eating us inside 
took you by spoonful 
but drained my emotions 
with a strainer used to empty
every last bit 

I could no longer run on E
rather my headlights began to 
display what was waiting 
for me here