North-Side Noah

I dump the overcooked ground meat into the trough.
My five pet iguanas scurry to partake.
I don’t waste food for one day there will be a shortage.
These brooding thoughts of impending doom keep me awake.

In the same stable, I’ve cut a hole in the roof,
so my new pet giraffe can comfortably play and live.
The zoo did not want him. They were going to dispose of him.
Another act of gross humanity I can’t forgive.

In my living room, I have a play-pen filled with mud.
It’s for my pet mini pot-belly pig, Pinky Floyd.
He helps me keep a diet of soy, grain, and legumes.
And in this world which is dark and cold, he fills a void.

My basement is flooded up to the second step,
so my three pet dolphins can do their aerobics.
I acquired them from a sports team who changed their mascots.
When I can't sleep, we all discuss quantum physics.

I grow many fruits and vegetables in the back yard,
which I use to feed my pet rhino and her calf.
The perimeter has heat sensing gun turrets,
so any would-be poacher will be cut in half.

I expanded my garage for my pet elephant.
Now she has room to play and eat hay — al la carte.
Since she never forgets, she marks my calendar.
She also lends green transportation to the food mart.

In the front yard my Canadian lynx runs free.
The UPS guy and postman are scared to deliver,
when they see my cat use the mailbox for a scratching post.
I offer him animal crackers to fetch my slippers.

The second bedroom houses my pet owl
I found him abandoned with a bruised wing and abdomen.
He spends most of the time perched on my shoulder,
whispering sage advice and boundless acumen.

I keep my vintage TV antenna on the roof,
since my pet eagle, Garibaldi, uses it for a perch.
That is just a temporary stop.  I built him an ideal home —
a multi-room tree house in the boughs of the backyard birch.

Alicia, my pet fox, sleeps on the lounge chair in the den.
I found her stuck in a trap my neighbor left in the hollow.
When he left his home, I broke in, and returned the trap.
I reset the steel jaw and placed it under his pillow.

My home and barn are walled with concrete and razor wire.
This protects my small slice.  I hope it will suffice.