Madcap/Depressive Hedonia
How was it only an hour
haunted dolls said it’s a holiday
leave your keys on the desk and act harder
put on your neon lace nightie
and lie in the spa tub to wait for the ghost
rockabye/rockaway rip your fingernails off.
It’s a zero sum game a time of amethyst
last night I slept next to the man with black horns
I held the rod he held the needle
a long line of pin-ups
howled evil eye.
It takes so long to find the right trail
so I walk across traffic electricity’s wrong
the egg-bread swan song
my ass in houndstooth all my crises winking
capitalism ruins everything but I love to buy shit
and I cannot remember California
wood-painted silver old-fashioned handwriting.
I cry by the graveyard
stopping to piss and every shopping center’s bland
even with Harlow fingernails
and black leopard print
a show-woman’s glamor peppermint handoil
ceramic deer shakers a handful of pills.
I outline my thin lips in ink
I could hide here all night/not eat any dinner
remembering the blue paper rotating Christmas tree
how every year I sat whining beside it.
Two girls walk by me in whipped cream and cat ears.
I ask did you drink some of my bone booze
to turn yourselves into snow queens?