When To Bastardize

Advice is the traveler's armistice.
Here, just above the knee.
I should not ask for the shortest route
to my next convenience,
because it will be a disappointment.
Saying I was in France
or in Spain dreaming,
unresponsive from drinking games.
I did spot an escaped lunatic there
almost naked, beard pajamas.
I had heard mention of his escape
then saw him in a tree sleeping.
Me with my thumb out,
would have preferred not to get a lift
until I had watched him climb down,
dust himself off, and confide in me.