purgatory matters
even though I'm here
the party started without me
in the middle of the room I sit
my head unattached to everyone
two women to remind me
who I used to be
sisters, young and old
they take the same bus
to and from themselves
I am five years old now
in this big family
with multitudes of knowledge
and no one to talk to
are you alone with me too
in corners of round rooms
clinging, climbing, winding
I don’t know where we're headed
where did we come from
I will tell you this though
just a tad is a little bit
a speck is almost nothing
wee is sweet lad
a boy who burns no ants
lassie is a dog
who died long ago
she spoke to me once
through my grandmothers veins
messages from the insane
phantoms around every corner she said
they laugh at me
in the round room
minds of math, geometric mazes
and unpaid bills
yet the roots of us are long
the wind does breathe secrets
to quiet battered women
who bake cakes
I found a chisel she hid for me
in the thick rich frosting
and slowly but surely
day by day, bit by bit
I saw the metal bars