New Legislation
The spokesman for the new government stepped up to the lectern. He grasped both sides firmly. Deliberately. With practiced confidence, he smiled at the phalanx of eager reporters. He refrained from tapping the single, security-approved microphone; such an act would be unprofessional. He gave a courteous greeting to those present and, as they say, without further ado, began…
"I am here to announce the arrival of new, long-overdue legislation.
"This new legislation will cause a reduction in the price of most goods and many services. This is because, from a company's perspective, costs will be reduced, producing savings which we hope will be passed onto customers, and not onto shareholders.
"This new legislation will increase real competition between producers. I say real competition because, let’s face it, at the moment companies are not competing on a level playing field. In future, we hope to redress this imbalance, so that the success of a company's product will be directly proportional to the quality of that product. The better the product, the better it will sell and, hence, the more money it will earn. Unfortunately, this is not currently the case.
"This new legislation will lead to an increase in the quality of goods on the market, because sales will depend solely on the quality of the goods, and nothing else. However, we are not so naïve as to believe this will be accomplished overnight, but it should be a positive consequence in the mid-term.
"This new legislation will mean customers, in fact the wider population, will have less of their time wasted. And not just when shopping, but when being entertained, when attending sporting events, etc. This should also lead to a reduction in the current high levels of frustration, irritation and stress.
"This new legislation will create a more beautiful environment for everyone, particularly for inner-city dwellers. No more will our streets and malls be blighted by loud, unsightly images, designed to grab our attention, even when we have no wish to be distracted.
"This new legislation will reduce paper waste by millions of tons each year. This advantage should be obvious to all."
At this point, the spokesman stopped briefly, looked up from the prepared notes and noticed the perplexed looks.
He then noticed the expectant raised hands.
He ignored them all and continued…
"There will, of course, be some negative side-effects of this new legislation. For example, there may be job losses but, with the expectation of an increase in disposable income, firms will, in time, actually have the opportunity to create more jobs, thus lowering unemployment.
"There will be some who will say this new legislation is a blow against freedom of speech. In reality, however, this will be a social equalizing of freedom of speech, allowing everyone in the country to have a voice, not just the rich. Every consumer voice will carry equal weight.
"To those of you who are intrigued by this announcement of new legislation, I want to ask you, are these the kind of exciting prospects that might interest you? Has your appetite been whetted for an adventure into the political unknown, into unchartered territories of government policy? An adventure that will lead to perfect competition between high quality products? An adventure guaranteeing, what we like to call, consumer democracy?
"To those of you who have become dulled to the point of tedium by the same bland, lifeless, announcements from this podium, I want to ask you, is what you've heard today the kind of progress you want to see, once again putting this country in the vanguard of world innovation?"
The spokesman stopped once more, briefly checked his notes, looked up, ignored the forest of waved hands, and set his sights on completing the statement.
"But … you may be asking, what is this new legislation?"
Many of the hands in the press corps lowered.
An expectant hush soon descended on the press room.
The spokesman paused, savoring the moment; his moment. He loosened his grip on the sides of the lectern, and slid his hands in his pockets. This was the casual, relaxed image he wished to portray as he delivered the final blow. He smiled. “To answer this question, let me ask you a serious question. And before you give a knee-jerk response, think carefully; think very, very carefully. And, actually consider the ramifications. Here’s the question:
"What would our world look like if governments had the courage to ban advertising and sponsorship?"
