Secret Origin

In New York City, a teenager is bitten by a radioactive spider. The spider dies. Nothing else results, and the bite marks fade within the week.

In a dark alley, muggers murder a wealthy couple, leaving their vengeful son with billions he could spend for crime fighting. He develops a coke habit instead.

On TV, a jet pilot claims powers and authority from the magic ring of a dying alien who crash landed on Earth. Is this finally our moment? we wonder.

No. The alien craft is exposed — a weather balloon combined with a desert mirage. Briefly we chase rumors of government conspiracy. These hopes soon fade as well.

We can’t hold much longer. Sweeping election victories from both parties have delivered no salvation. Our lottery tickets don’t work, and deadlines set by a desert preacher are now two thousand years late.

Someone’s got to save us.