Warning Labels

Today is the big day. I don't know if it's going to be a good day or a bad day.

Today is the day we get our warning labels. It's the government's latest idea. The last great idea didn't work out so well, so they trashed it, and the guy who came up with the idea. We have a new guy in charge now. So, warning labels, it is.

We have to line up downtown at 8 am, sharp. I'm so nervous, I didn't sleep last night, my hands are shaking, and I'm sure everyone can hear my heartbeat.

I can't even guess what my warning label will be, there are so many options. And how is this going to affect everyone's lives?

The line starts to move slowly. Ten people go in at a time. Ten come out, ten more go in. When the first group comes out, everyone is very quiet. Gone is the nervous energy they went in with. I see a friend from the neighborhood. She doesn’t even look at me. Her warning label says, "Wilts under criticism."

"Hey," trying to get her attention, "hi." She looks at me sadly, doesn't say a word, and keeps walking.

A line of people walks by, they already have their labels.

"Be gentle, I bruise."

"I lack the ability to censor myself."

"Post-menopausal crazy grandma."

"Wow, these labels are brutal,"" I say out loud to whoever is listening.

The woman behind me says "I already know what mine will say, and it's completely true."

"How can you know?"

"Oh, I know," smirking.

I stare at her, hoping she will elaborate, but not wanting to ask.

"I'm a kind person, but people don't think that when they look at me. I'm also snarky and say what I think. My label will say something like that." She sounds pretty confident, so I believe what she says, besides I don't do well with snarky comments, so I just nod in agreement.

As the next group walks by, I read a few more labels. Some people try to hide them.

"Will bite if cornered."

"Hyper fixates on things and won’t shut up about them."

"Will psychoanalyze your every move."

I don't understand the government's reasoning in putting labels on everyone. What if we refuse? What if we get out of line and run? Could we make it to the border and escape? Claim asylum in Canada, maybe. I look around, the line is pretty long.

Another group walks by.

"Intimidating and aggressive, will stand up for beliefs."

That one makes me think. Why aren't we standing up against the government? We should be putting a stop to these labels. They are damaging.

"Approach with caution: tantrums."

"Ego will shatter if you don't call back, but I won't call back in a reasonable time frame."

Why does everyone need to know these things about us? I have so many questions about these warning labels. Isn't anyone else questioning this? Looking around at all the faces of the people who appear to have given up.

A woman is coming by with her new label, she is staring at it. I read the label out loud, "Judge forever."

"Yes, that's me, I will judge you forever. But I don't want the world to know." She looks very sad, as a tear slides down her cheek.

I open my mouth to say something, encouraging, but I don't know what to say. And I know she will judge me…forever. So, I don't say anything.

My group's turn is next. When the last person comes out, I will have to go in or run.

The next person walks out. "Once I'm done with you, I'm done. And I will tell you so."

I have one last chance to turn and run or go in and let the government brand me with my label. I really want to run. I think others would go, too. I turn and look at the snarky lady behind me. She smiles at me. I smile back.

"We're next," I say.

"Are we?" she asks, with a grin.