I Always Thought

I always thought
I wanted one person
to grow old & fat with
raise some kids with
travel a little with

what I got isn't bad

but I always wanted someone
to wake up with
on a regular basis

never really had that

had better women
(and better looking women)
than I ever dreamed of

& worse women than I ever knew existed

and last month
driving down Niagara Falls Boulevard
in the rain
I thought to myself
for the first time

"Maybe I'm supposed to be alone"

& I said it out loud
& I pulled over

cried for ten minutes
but the tears felt good

and what the hell
there wasn’t anyone there to see them